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Can the 'Slayers be Stopped?

20-10 Pounding of Ex-Undefeated INCYTE Garners National Attention

Sunnyvale...INS offices are only 2 miles from the NASA research laboratories here in Sunnyvale. Better take notes NASA or call the movers Elmo 'cause the 'Slayers own the rights to the Launching Pad in the Valley. Blasting missile-like shots all night, the 'Slayers jumped to a 7-0 lead, staved off an INCYTE 6 run 1st inning, then scored 13 unanswered runs to easily secure their 3rd straight victory in as many games.

Responding to Chris Berman's(ESPN) allegation earlier in the week of doctoring the softball in last games "3 pitches-3 outs performance", Jeremy "Money on the Mound" Schultz had warned reporters before the game that "If I get the ball tonight that (expletive) Berman's going to reporting on monkey behavior in Bali when I'm done out there." Berman better book his flight - Money took only four pitches to punch out the side in the fourth inning; getting the two last hitters on called third strikes to secure the victory for the 'Slayers. Ross "Spin, I didn't put any spin on that pitch!" Roesner also pitched two shut-out innings to keep INCYTE at bay while the 'Slayers begun their prolonged scoring drive.

David "Scoops" Maynard, the only player on the Planet to go 4 for 5 and LOWER his batting average, knocked a homer, drove in 3 runs and scored 4 times to lead the 20 run onslaught. INCYTE, confident from earlier reports that Kim "I SWEAR I hurt my groin Bowling" Goodwin would not start, were dismayed when Goodwin, hobbling at times, scored 2 runs with 2 hits. Mike "Master-Blaster" Vannucci knocked in a season high 3 runs with three straight hits, John "WHAT Basecoach?" Krejcha knocked in his usual 3 runs, as did Jason "Wheels" Dominguez. Steve "I only perform with two outs" Mendez and Lydia "One Woman Wrecking Crew" O'Neil each added two more. Liz "Basecoach? I don't need no Stinkin' Basecoach!" Phillips broke out of a slump in grand fashion going 3-5 with 2 RBI's.

The big surprise for the 'Slayers this night was their latest find: Dave "The Boy Wonder" Klug. You know the story: given the nickname "Boy Wonder" when at just 9 years old he once belted a whiffle ball 270 feet, 3 time All-Star for the Toledo Mud-Hens in the Minor Leagues and the number one draft pick by INS in the '96 draft. All the questions whether he could perform at the Major League level were answered when the Boy Wonder took his very first Major League pitch and slammed a two-run homer. Asked how he could contribute so fast Wonder Boy responded, "With (Lydia)One Woman Wrecking Crew running in front of me I just tried not to embarrass myself out there. I figured she was leaving soon and would like to score one more time." ONeil, playing in her last game before retiring to Southern California, played a brilliant third base, then moved to first base later in the game to shut down a late INCYTE rally.

The 'Slayers next game is against the only other undefeated team in the league. Please come out and watch this Clash of Titans and see who will walk away undefeated. Morgana Sprague is leading "Firecracker Cheer" lessons for the spectators 15 minutes before the game.